Family Update 5: She Would Have Been 5 Month Old!

I have been kind of busy lately and the days have been blending together, but when I finally had a moment to stop and look at the calendar hanging from my frig I noticed today was the 17th .. Three months ago today I took my daughter into Hemet Hospital and that started the hardest journey my family would have to go through! That was the day everything changed, the day that will never be forgotten .. November 17th was the day my family was no longer whole. Eowyn started having trouble breathing, an hour earlier she had thrown up after eating and I noticed as I laid her in her bed that something wasn't quite right and my suspicions were only magnified when, while holder her on my arms, she went limp and started turning white. I rushed her to the local hospital while Caleb stayed with the boys, they were both sleeping and I was unaware of how serious this would become, and as I got to the hospital I could hear that Eowyn's breathing was getting slower and more shallow. I went up to the window and told the nurse that I thought my baby was having trouble breathing. She took me back right away, sat me down and asked "why do you think your baby is having trouble breathing?" I then showed her Eowyn's face and she immediately ran me back, called the doctor and nurses and within minutes they had Eowyn intubated and was giving her oxygen suport .. It is an undiscribably feeling, to see your baby go through that and know that there is nothing you can do to help .. except pray! It's a helpless felling, seeing all this going on and not knowing anything .. I mean I had no clue (at the time) what happen to her or if she would be ok, as far as I knew it looked as though she would die right then. You just don't know what to do, what to think, you are completely lost. The nurse asked me if I had someone to call and I said yes .. I called Caleb and told him he needed to come down right now. He started asking question, which I had no answers for so I just told him to get his mom to watch the boys and to get to the hospital as fast as possible. Within 5 hours she was transported to Loma Linda Hospital were she would spend the remainder of her life. By the next day (18th) the doctor was talking to us about ECMO (life support). He told us this was the only way she would have enough of a chance to stay alive long enough for them to try and figure out what was wrong with her .. I didn't even know how to process this information, I mean my baby was absolutely fine a day ago and now the doctor is telling me she has to be put on life support .. What the heck was going on? Had I enterd some kind of knightmear and not known it?! On the 19th of November Eowyn went on ECMO and that started the journey for the fight of her life. She stayed on ECMO for 12 days and was finally able to come off after many failed attempts. The rest of the journey is writen in the many blogs posted on this site and you all know how the story ends but I wanted to write this and let you know how it all started .. Some of you many know and other may not but now you all do. Yesterday I was very emotional, crying all the time, easily irritated and just depressed and today I stoped and notice that yesterday would have been her 5 month birthday and today would have marked her 3 month stay at the hospital .. I'm glad she didn't have to spend her 5 month birthday in the hospital but I'm sad she didn't get to spend it with us! Thank you Lord for truly healing her and bringing her home eternily .. Help our hearts to heal and help us to look toward You for all we need and all we do!!